Once Upon A Time

   I was living in Cleveland, Ohio. Miserable. Poor boy long ways from home. I had very few art supplies. But I had a mission. Paint every day. I had two seashells from my trip to Florida. One thing I didn't have was a crappy computer like this one. I can barely type on this thing. It's annoying the piss out of me. So, no explanation. I did a watercolor painting of seashells every night. :

Why Are Some Paintings Left Unfinished?

  Well, as always, I can't speak for everyone, but I can speak for myself. Well, write really, but, you know. My studio rehab is uncovering lots of forgotten artwork. I probably do a couple hundred paintings a year, and it's been several years since I've sorted through some of my things. So, you know, the potential is for several hundred paintings to see the light of day after a long rest. I suppose they would find it worthwhile if, say, someone bought them and hung them in a prominent place in their home. Just sayin'. (Feel guilty? I can ease your conscience for cheap. Email me and we'll talk. Well, maybe not talk, but, you know, write back and forth). I came across this one:

It's a watercolor I started several years ago (2009?) and never finished. I can't remember what I was going for here. I really like what I've done so far. I was gonna put something on the other side, but, what? At this point I'll probably crop out the white part and make a watercolor painting of a...boy? A girl? My memory is no help for this. I also found this:

You could make a case that this one is finished, but I think otherwise. What was I gonna do? No idea. I like this one the way it is, so, it's likely done now. But, what masterpiece could it have been? No clue.
   Why are they unfinished? I may have lost motivation. I may have lost reference photos. Life may have gotten in the way. It happens. Sometimes I find unfinished works and get a spark of inspiration and finish them in a grand style. Here are a couple of examples:

 Sometimes a great wave of inspiration washes over me and something great appears in my head. Sometimes the muse just leaves me hanging and the idea is lost.
   I've also had some other unfortunate things happen to me in the past couple of days. I posted two recently completed pieces:

I posted them, to rave reviews, on Facebook. I got inquiries into the sizes and the prices. I can likely make two sales and boost my morale. The problem? I don't know where they are. I just photographed them a few days ago. Two of the others I from the same batch stare at me (likely wondering why no one wants to give them a forever home (feel at least a little guilty?)). No clue as to the rest. Somehow my reorganization is not getting the job done. #ArtistProblems

So, I Realized

  Even though it's Tuesday I went in to work today. As a favor to the boss. I haven't worked a Tuesday in at least three years. Four days to the restaurant business, three days to the art world (well, I do art every day and I market my art a lot, but that's the basic breakdown). I realized today that I get in a certain mindset at each job. It's an odd experience going back to being a waiter after full time art days. It takes me a couple of hours to get back to the waiter mentality. The last day of my week, Sunday, sees me getting back in to being an artist before I've clocked out as a waiter. At least mentally. I've tried to meld both places, and I have become more of an art creator as a server. I really don't want to bring my waiter job to my studio, although Doug the Waiter is a great salesman.
  When I had my soul sucking day job ( before my current job, it was at a nation wide seafood chain, but I won't say which one) it motivated me to create and sell art because I hated it so much. I don't hate my current job. I rather like it. I'm just tired of being a waiter. I've been doing it for almost thirty years (holy crap! that was hard to write). I've gotten to the point where I feel like a switch flips on and off between Art Doug and Waiter Doug. Sometimes I fear that the switch will quit working and Art Doug will be no more. It's kind of a Jeckle and Hyde thing. It's kind of stressful too. I do get inspiration at my job, and I do make contacts, but I dream of a day where I'll be an artist and nothing else. I feel like I could do great things if I only had to create. As far as I've come to this point, I think I could go at least this far again, maybe farther, before I ride across the rainbow bridge.

 My art career has always had to take a backseat to my restaurant career. Except for the Golden Years of 2000-2009. When I did stuff like this:

When art was what I was, not what I did so I could stay sane for another day, or week , or month of slinging food and drinks. When I worked in several media:

  Waiting tables has been good to me. It's supported me, and my family, for a long time. It just doesn't thrill me like it used to. It seems to be cutting in to my creative time. That's not okay.

No Earthly Idea

  So, here I am again. Writing this blog. About what it's like to be an artist. How to talk about art. What goes through my head when I'm inspired. I have no idea what the subject of this one will be. So, let's look at some of my art:

  This is watercolor I call "Flowers II". It was an exercise I did while I was living in Twinsburg, Ohio in 1998. I was trying to build my art chops up again after not taking my art seriously for a long time. It's a simple project. Red. Yellow. Green. Add an ink pen and that's what I used here. Plus a watercolor brush. I had just purchased my first set of Kolinsky sable brushes. The top of the line material for a paint brush. Not the top of the line over all, but my first introduction to high quality materials. I'm a big believer in buying the best you can afford. Especially brushes.
   Here's another:

"With Child". I painted this in my studio in the house I grew up in, in Cape Girardeau, MO. It was in 2005  or so. I had bought some spray pigment and wanted to try it out. I sprayed the watercolor paper and let it dry. It told me that this would be a good image to paint on it. I painted it with black watercolor. I'm pretty happy with it.
   How about this one:

"100 Brush Strokes". It was done as part of an artistic challenge. Paint a whole painting with only 100 brush strokes ( I bet you didn't see that coming ). It was harder than you'd probably think. It was harder than I anticipated. 100 strokes don't get you very far. If not for the restrictions put on this by the challenge it's not much of a painting. With the restrictions in mind, well, it's still not something I am really proud of. But, I think enough of you to show it to you.
  Now, here's the best example I have of the series it's from:

"Acrylic Abstract #5". I also painted this one in Twinsburg. I had a few spare canvases, some latex house paint, and a big back yard. I tried a Jackson Pollock drip painting thing, and, well, it wasn't quite what I expected. It probably works better on big pieces. This on might be 20" x 16", if it's that big. There was so much paint sitting on it when I was done it took three days for it to dry. Three days. Latex and acrylics usually dry in an hour or so, depending on the humidity of the room. Three fricking days I had to leave these out in the back yard. Once this one dried I drew on it with a white paint pen. I looked for the hidden image. I think this one is pretty cool, but more so when you know the back story.
  And, that's what I have for you this week. A few of my lesser known paintings complete with back story. Where else can you find something like this?

Guess What I Found

  So, I'm cleaning up and sorting. Finding all sorts of things I haven't seen a very long time. I found some old art. Some of mine. Some a few choice pieces I have that others have created. In my first post on here, I told you that this painting was the first in the "deep shadow" style:

Which is right. Mostly. There was another I did a year or so before this one. It was a sunset over the water, framed by two curved palm trees. I spent over an  hour setting up that shot, and a few days painting it. I gave it to my then girlfriend's mother as a thank you for taking me with them to Disney World. I don't have a picture of that one, but I like to think it's still hanging somewhere and that I'll one day get a picture of it. But, I found this while digging through my archives:

It all came back to me. I was sharing an apartment with Mark Gonzalez, 1994/95. I was still recovering from the death of my best friend Ian. ( I'm sure he was murdered, not a suicide, but I can't prove it). I was drawing when I got home from work, which I mentioned in an earlier post ( along with a picture of the draped cloth I was using as a subject). I had some pastel paper that I had bought at Michaels. They were all going out of business and marking down their stuff 10% every week. I had purchased several colors, but I had a black one that I wanted to do something special with. I had an awesome mirror in my bedroom, so I propped my drawing board up and drew this self portrait. As I recall it only took fifteen minutes or so. I was happy with it. I'm still happy with it. It was way ahead of it's time. But....
   I found something else while I was cleaning out my little piece of heaven:

This little gem. I painted it in 1985. For my mother. For Christmas. It's not really black, it's a deep, dark purple. It might as well be black. Except I was in a "real artists don't use black" phase. Ten years before the one just above. A good fourteen years before "First Painting". I hadn't really thought about how long this idea germinated. Or how far ahead of myself I really was. Or where I'd be right now if I'd taken all this more seriously a whole lot sooner. Ah, well, regrets are the basis for great songs and great paintings.

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How Did I Get Here?

  That's been the theme in my studio today. Organizing my supplies has led me down memory lane these past few weeks. I found the pencil set I bought right before I left for Dallas and The Art Institute. In 1987. Thirty years ago. I've never used them. I bought them with that intention, but, for some reason, I've never taken them out of their shiny metal case. When I was in art school I barely had enough money for art supplies. Maybe that's why I've been stocking up on them ever since. Every sale, every coupon, every score at the thrift store. Unfortunately, poor organization has led to an odd assortment of art making material. Lots of black and white paint, but also lots of red. Perhaps it's my favorite color? Sharpies. Erasers. And paint brushes. Lots of paint brushes. Lots. Yet I still typically only use two. Until they're worn down and replaced by duplicates. But, I have all the others, just in case. From 0000 brushes to six inch brushes. Watercolor. Hake. Acrylic/Oil. Makeup (they're great for blending pastels). Lots of backups of my painting pictures from 2001-2007. I'm gonna set aside some time to go through and look for lost paintings. I feel like there are several dozen forgotten masterpieces.

  This is an abstract from around 2005. My whole basement was my studio. I had two big easels set up and I was painting in acrylics no smaller that three feet by two feet. My watercolors were four by six inches on the small side to ten by twelve inches on the big side. I was making art every day. And I was gloriously unemployed while I took care of my mom. That gave me a taste for the artistic life.

I was doing a lot of this Big Bold Shadow stuff. Which all had it's roots in this series:

I painted these in Lane Fabrick's Painting 1 class at Southeast Missouri State. He passed away a couple days ago. He was a big influence on me. He taught most of what I know about color mixing and theory. He referred to me as 'the most prolific artist I ever taught" and showed slides of my work to every painting class he taught, until he retired. Every one. For the longest time I had no idea. I guess I had quite a legacy. I do kinda feel bad for all the poor bastards that took the class after me, knowing that no matter how hard they tried and how much they painted they'd never beat my record for most paintings. I'm mighty proud of that.
  Anyway, I'm not sure what I should have written about. Maybe what an ass Last Week Doug is for posting all the new art pics. Ah, well. I'm sure I'm doing something to annoy Future Doug. Here's some new shoes I've done:

  Okay, I didn't realize I had that many pairs of shoes to post. Sorry Future Doug. I'm sure you'll think of something.

New Art And Thoughts

   I'm proud of the effort I've put in on the studio overhaul. I have room to move now. I have my computer desk, my drawing table, my easel, and my papasan chair all strategically located. I'm still in the process of sorting my art supplies, but I would like to say this: "Holy Crap! I've got a lot of cool supplies!" Way more brushes than I thought. I'm gonna guess at least three hundred, but there could be another hundred or so. Brushes that range from twenty five cents to one hundred and fifty dollars. I'd forgotten how many I had. That's also the same thing I ran into with my watercolors. I had them all together, and knew where they were. Really nice, expensive colors. Cadmiums. Ceruleans. Lapis Lazuli. Gold. Actual gold (although I guess it's not technically a watercolor). Then tonight, as I'm clearing space on the other side of my easel I find a good sized tote with more watercolors. It was just like Christmas. I usually hate Past Doug. He has usually spent all our money and put me in a bind. I also usually feel bad for Future Doug, because he has to deal with all the mistakes I make. He's usually broke and working extra because of me. Eh, there's nothing any of us can do about it.
   I'm also painting as I de-clutter. Here's one of the new ones:

 I like it, but I had it pictured differently in my mind. I'm not really able to put my finger on what I'd like to be different. That's part of the "pain only an artist feels" that I was talking about a couple weeks ago. Then there's this one:

I like this one. It turned out pretty much like I wanted it to. I like paintings like this, but I love the ones that my me work to get a good result. They may not even look as good as the others, but I remember the struggle and how I came out on top. It makes me feel good.
    I also came across some notes and pictures from about ten years ago. I wrote about getting new studio plants, just like I did four weeks ago. I also found a sketch I had made about a semi abstract idea I had. It was a face with black lines running vertically and horizontally across the picture plane. I did a double take, because it's basically the blue print for the painting I did a while back that looked like this:

Sometimes my ideas have to germinate before I set to work on them. Sometimes it may be several years.
  So here are the other two paintings I've finished. Remember, you're seeing them here first. I'm also gonna post all four so I have to get new material for next week. Poor Future Doug.

I like the face. The hair, eh, not so much.

This one grows on me. It's not what I pictured, but I didn't really picture a finished product. It's hard for me to explain. I guess I thought it would be darker.