Here's My Thoughts

   So, I'm having trouble. Lot's of trouble. I'm having a hard time separating Doug the Waiter from Doug the Artist. I have this feeling deep inside that I need to chose one. I suppose if that's true then I've gotta pick Doug the Waiter, if only because he's the one bringing in the money. I'm not angry, or depressed, or frustrated, but maybe I'm a bit of all three. I went back to waiting tables full time because my wife's job was eliminated. Just like that. No warning, no severance, just an oh-yeah-I-guess-we-don't-need-you-right-now. So, I get on the horse and go back to waiting tables four days a week (you see, I was down to one day a week, just in case, while I did art). And it was painful ( mostly because when I was diagnosed with diabetes and was in intensive care for three days I lost a lot of my muscle tone). No chance to ease back in. My legs and feet screamed at me at the end of every shift. I'd come home and just lay down because I didn't have the energy to do anything else. My art just kinda slipped away. I  built my strength back up and now it's not so bad, yet I still don't feel like doing anything creative. I do some painting here and there, but it's not speaking to me the way it used to. I'm finishing up a commissioned portrait that I need to have finished (and should have already finished) and delivered by Christmas. It's not coming along like it should have and it's stressing the fuck out of me. Perhaps another sign it's time to lay my brushes down and commit to being the best waiter I can be. I feel like everything I had built up artwise I let slip away. Maybe it's all my fault. Maybe I don't deserve to be a full time artist. I don't know. I'm sure someone will tell me. I can't seem to sell enough art to break even on supplies, so, I'll just treat it like an expensive hobby I can no longer afford. For everyone who has supported me along the way, thank you. From the bottom of my heart. Maybe some day I'll feel more like Doug the Artist. I suppose anything's possible.

      DOUG

Here's Where I'm At

  So, more on the struggle. I think (well, I'm 99% sure) that I'm done with the move from Paducah. I'm not sure how (or when) we'll get rid of that house. I just want to be done with it. I don't care if we don't make a dime, as long as we don't have to pay any more. It's taken waayyyy to long to get our stuff. We've run in to all kinds of trouble with it. I don't need that at this point in my life. Maybe we can just give it back to the bank.
   I've got about six minutes of animation for my Epitaph movie project. Not as much as I would have thought at this point, but better than nothing. It's been way more labor intensive that I thought. That's probably a good thing, as I may not have started it I had known.
   I had a daily drawing/writing journal I had been working on for about ten months that has fallen by the wayside. I'm really lucky I did as much as I did, and I just don't have it in me anymore.
   I've also been getting my studio reorganized, now that I have all my stuff. It has taken a lot of my precious free time, but it'll pay off in the long run. I haven't done as much painting/drawing as I should have. Barely just enough to keep the stress from overwhelming me. I'm a mess right now. I really should have more done than I have. Much more. Seems every time I get a bit of momentum built up something comes along to derail me. I won't make excuses, but my having to go back to full time waiting tables has really discouraged me. I'm great at what I do, but I'm ready to be done with the restaurant business and create full time. I suppose it's just not in the cards right now. I gotta play the cards I'm dealt. A bit of regrouping and I'll be back on the horse. I always get back up.

  Here's a picture of a painting I had started in Paducah. Two years ago. Maybe I can still make something of it. If not, I'll paint over it.
  Thanks for stopping in. I really appreciate the support.

AKO ANG HARI
   DOUG

Buy me a coffee

Here's A Good Chance

   I'm not sure if I ever have, but I've wanted to give some insights into my process for naming my paintings. I just had a few that I thought would be perfect for this.

   This is "How Could You Forget Me?":

I just brought this up from Paducah last week (I know, after a year and a half I should be done with the move from Paducah, but it's been complicated). I grabbed about a dozen of these (3' x 2' size). I saw this one when I got here and thought "why have I not photographed this one already?". So, when I did I needed a name. I had forgotten to take this pic. No idea why. Or how. How I could have forgotten. Boom! Painting title. It also fits well. A guy on a phone with two women in each upper corner. All of a sudden there's a title and a back story. Ta-da.

    Here is "It's Not Broken":

This also just came up from Paducah. I obviously painted this face over an abstract purple field. I like this one, but when I look at it the nose seems off. It's too late for me to fix it and it's not that big a deal. His nose. It's not broken. Bam! Painting title. It also says something about the expression on his face. Road weary, but not giving up. Beaten. But not broken.

This one is "Regality":

I just finished this one the other day. A small "daily painting" type acrylic. I'm very happy with it. When I went to post it I needed to give it a title. She had an air of royalty, to me anyway. She's not royalty, but regal seemed more accurate. Regal didn't seem like a good title. Royalty? Naw. Hey, I'll combine the two. Regality. Is that a word? No. Does it matter? Not really. Not to me. I like the title and it really seems to fit. It gives it a name and a bit of a back story. Just what I like for a title to do.

    So, that's the story on three of the unique painting title stories. Perhaps I'll do another one of these some day. Some of my titles have a lot more behind them that you would ever suspect. Some titles come to me as soon as I finish a painting, or even as I'm creating it. Some titles have more to do with what's going on in my life than what's going on with the art. Some titles remind me of exactly what my life was about at the time. Sometimes I can't remember how I came up with the title. Crazy, right?

AKO ANG HARI                             Buy me a coffee
DOUG

That's Right, All The Way

   So, I'm back. Not as regularly as I would like to be, but I'm not giving up on this. It's been an adventure as of late. Some health issues in my house and some financial dings. Not stuff I enjoy, but I just gotta keep moving forward.
   I'm working on my next graphic novel (number 4). I have some rough ideas of what I want but I can't seem to find a good opening. Once I get these started it's all down hill from there. Sometimes I have to edit out a bunch of pages, but the story flows once I start it. I have a basic idea and I've written the first page, but I still haven't been visited by the Graphic Novel Muse.
  Also working on animating my first graphic novel, Epitaph. I'm starting from scratch having never animated anything before. It's a challenge teaching yourself an animation style when you have no idea what it's called, or even how to describe it for a Google search. I joined a Facebook group for animators and they've been fantastically helpful. I now have an idea what I'm looking for and I'm studying YouTube tutorials. I've made some basic videos to try out the techniques, but I'm starting to fear my computer may not have enough processing power. I've animated a very basic scene several times but can't get it rendered without my program crashing. I'm hoping for a brand new computer so I can render the basic animations I'm looking for. I could really use a pen tablet (which would be my third, things get lost in the shuffle during moves). I have faith and I hold hope.
  I still paint and I still draw. I'm going back and working on my drawing skills. I'm currently working on my perspective skills from some art books I have. I actually learned about perspective half a century ago, but it's been nice starting over and practicing the basics. I also have some figure drawing classes I'm working. I want to be able to free hand people for some comic/animation projects I have in mind. Always pushing. Always looking to improve.
   Hopefully this doesn't come across as depressing. It's challenging which is exciting to me. Another hurdle to overcome. Another chance to prove that I can, in fact, get it accomplished. I could do without all the health problems though (they're not mine, but a family member's). I have no control over that and I don't like not having control.
  Buy me a coffee

   So, here's the good stuff:

AKO ANG HARI
     DOUG

So, This Lady Says To Me...

  So, it's Sunday night. I'm done with my day job and I'm getting my plans together for the new week. This is pretty much my Sunday ritual. I make a list of things I want to get done. I copy down any notes I've taken during the week. I make my game plan. I try to do as much art as I can, but the thing I really need to work on is bringing in money to support my artistic goals and dreams. I was recently reminded of a site that I joined: BuyMeACoffee.com. It's a site that promotes the support of creative types (like ya boy here). Basically you can click a button and donate the price of a cup of coffee. No big commitments. No long term contracts (although you can go long term if the mood strikes you). Just a little bit here, and maybe there too. You'd be surprised how these little bits add up. Maybe to the amount needed to publish my next book of art, just as an example (hint, hint). I think I'm gonna start putting the button out here and there just to give my fans a chance to help me out. The chance to be a patron. For the price of a cup of coffee. Buy me a coffee
  And now, here's some art. The real reason you came by.

AKO ANG HARI
     DOUG

Just To Stay In Touch

  Yeah, I'm writing another blog post. No, I really don't have much to say. That has never stopped me before, so, here we are. I'm staying motivated, doing art every day. Some days more than others, but that's to be expected. It's the whole promoting/selling art thing that I need to do more of. I could really use some help on that part, but that never seems to work out for me. I try to be self sufficient, but there are some things that I enjoy more than others. It's kinda odd really. When I'm waiting tables i can sell and upsell all day long, but I can't seem to get into a flow when it comes to selling my art. I sell enough to keep me from throwing in the towel, but I should really be making a nice living from my art. It really wouldn't take a whole lot of money to be considered a nice living. My standard of living isn't anywhere near the rock star lifestyle I used to live when I was younger. I'm not really complaining, just saying.
  I'm working on a new book of my art. Pictures of my paintings and the stories behind them. Seems more enjoyable than the first volume of my daily painting books. I don't have to go in any order, just what ever painting I think has a good story behind it. I really want to start the fourth book in my graphic novel series. I had a basic idea of what I want, I just can't think of an interesting way to get it started. I also want to do an animated version of my first graphic novel "Epitaph". I know what kind of animation I want to do, but I'm not sure how to go about doing it. I can't form a description of it to do a Google search. Oh, the pain of being an artist!
   That's pretty much where I stand. The AC is out in our house now and it won't be fixed tomorrow, since it's a holiday. I hate the heat and I hate to be uncomfortable. Not much I can do about it now though. I have no idea how to diagnose and/or fix an air conditioning unit. Maybe if I draw enough Those Guys drawings it will help. Couldn't hurt I guess.

AKO ANG HARI
     DOUG

Never Say

  So, here I am again. I haven't been posting on here like I should. It's been about six weeks since I was here. Not something I brag about. I have reasons for not posting, but I'm not here to give excuses. My mother in law spent two weeks in Tennessee with her oldest daughter and my step daughter was gone for a few weeks. Art is very important to me, as is promoting my career; however, spending time with my wife, just the two of us, is way more important. I've also made a few trips to Paducah to try to get the rest of our stuff out so we can sell the house there and be done with it. My oldest step daughter has been very helpful with these trips, going there with me in her huge SUV. I'm very excited to say that I have my papasan chair and my workhorse easel in my studio. Finally. It's getting a bit crowded but I'm happy with the way things look. I also hosted my youngest grandson Daddy Mack. Four days with a two year old really took a toll on me lol. I enjoyed it, he's quite a kid, but I don't have the energy to do that for more than a few days.
  I'm getting back into my routine again. Painting pretty regularly. Taking full advantage of my dual easel set up. It really gets the artistic juices pumping. I'm currently working on two large size paintings. I really enjoy the "daily" small paintings that I've become known for, but there's nothing like going big. It's an experience like no other. I'm also making good progress on my next art book (a short book describing the processes on several of my paintings).
  I'm focused on being an artist again. I feel like a million bucks. Tax free.

AKO ANG HARI
     DOUG
Oh, yeah, art. Sorry. Here:

Update

  Okay, here's a little update of my progress, for those of you keeping track at home. I've had some computer issues, as you may already know, but thanks to my hard work and determination I've gotten myself caught back up on (most) all things art related. I post my artwork on my DeviantART profile. I use it as my online portfolio. It works well, but there's a lot of art on there. In fact, I just posted my 1,988th piece on there. Of course, that doesn't count the 501 Zen drawings I've done:

( These started out with me doing zentangles, but I've twisted that into my own personal Zen. Like them or not, I find them to be very relaxing). That also doesn't count the 355 Those Guys drawings that I've done:

(These started out as sketchbook drawings I did to work on faces, using only three lines for the face; eyes, nose, mouth. I wanted to see if I could express emotion using only the basics. Somehow they became very popular. Who am I to argue with their success?). So, all together, right now, that's 2,844 pieces of art. Not counting what's in all my sketchbooks. Also not counting the six paintings leaning on my easel waiting to be photographed and posted (I'm getting to them!). I feel pretty good about my progress, but one can only wonder where I'd be if I had gotten serious about this when I was in my early twenties instead of being a bonehead. Ah, well, in an alternate universe...


AKO ANG HARI
     DOUG

Making Do

    It's been a while. Longer than I wanted. My computer setup is not ideal for me since my laptop crapped out. I've tried for several weeks to find a good used one (there's no way I can afford a new one, and actually a new one won't fit my needs) with no luck.  But, I make do.
    I've also finished the first volume of my Daily Painting book. All of my daily paintings from my year of doing one watercolor and one acrylic painting every day. I'm very happy with the way it turned out, and I've already sold a few copies. I'm gonna order more, so if you want one let me know (52 luscious pages, $15). It's been a rude awakening to realize how well my organization of my paintings that year went. Mostly they were in order, but there were three or four that I somehow didn't post on all my social media. It took quite a few hours to list all my paintings and  more than a few more to lay out the pages for my book. Stressful? Yes. i almost gave up a few times, but I soldiered on. You know, I make do.
   I've also completely redone my studio. I had some issues that I didn't plan for, so I moved a few things around, which made it so I had to move a few more. Pretty much every thing has been moved. There's no way I could have foreseen these problems, so I'm not too bitter about it. I like the new layout much better. I just need to get a window unit to cool it off a bit. It gets mighty hot in the summer time and I don't do heat very well. My easel is set up in a better spot. Not where I thought it would be, but it a good spot. I like the way things have turned  out, 'cause, you know, I make do art.
    Art like this:

AKO ANG HARI,
      DOUG

Some Thoughts

  I've been thinking about writing this for a while. As my dad used to say "the road to hell is paved with good intentions." I've been more motivated lately than I've been in a long time. I'm not sure if it's because I was diagnosed with diabetes, or if it's because I got treated for diabetes, or if it's because I feel better because I'm eating better and exercising. I wanted to do a good topic for my fans on here, but nothing has really jumped out at me.So, here's some random thoughts and observations. And, of course, there'll be art at the end.

• I bought a nice pencil with the intention of getting back in to pencil drawing. It's a Caran d'Ache. It cost me six dollars and it's the first really nice pencil I've used. It's worth every penny I spent on it. I did just realize it was "d'Ache" at the end. For the past thirty plus years I've thought it was "d'Arch". 
• I'm putting all my daily paintings in order and doing a book. All of my year plus paintings in order so you can see how I evolved over those thirteen months. I'm shocked and saddened at how hard it was to do this, due in large part to my lack of organization. I'm about 130 paintings in and I've had to download seven that weren't in my file, which means they weren't in my DeviantART online portfolio. Also found one that wasn't accounted for, but I managed to get it in without too much effort. This is more work than I had hoped it would be.
• My wife convinced me to do the #100HeadChallenge. 100 heads drawn in ten days. I figured it would be a good chance to use my fancy new pencil. It has, however turned out to be more stressful than I thought. I'm ahead of schedule, but I find it hard to find ten (or more) heads that inspire me every day. 
• I have my studio almost all set up, but now realize there are things I'd like to tweak. May or may not happen.
• My wife bought me an easel for my birthday last December. A very thoughtful present and has helped my mood immensely. I wanna paint, I just slide my chair over four feet and grab a brush.
• I used to always say I could paint faces every day for the rest of my life and not get bored. I think I'm proving that to be true.

• I used to hear about gel pens and it would make me think of teenage girls drawing in their secret diaries, however I bought a white one to use to put white over my black ink drawings. I wish I had found out about that nonsense years ago. 

I'm sure I had more to say, but I didn't write any notes for this. So, there may be a Part 2. Anyway, here's art:

Here's a page from my book. Maybe it will help me make some sales:

So, AKO ANG HARI
     DOUG
In case you wanna make a donation to the cause: link

Once Again I'm Knocked Back

   So, I haven't posted regularly, again. I decided for the new year I'd motivate myself to do better in all things art related. Even though I wasn't feeling well I was forcing myself to do my Daily Hand Challenge. One ink drawn hand a day.

I did good. Ninety days straight. From the first page of the sketch book 'til the last. I wanted to get better at drawing hands, which was a weakness of mine. I will admit I am better than I was three months ago.
   My real weakness, as of late, has been the business end of the art world. I wanted to post some of my daily paintings, because I have a lot of them to sell. My workhorse computer was giving me problems, so I thought I'd install a less processor intensive Linux distro ( the software that runs the computer, like Windows, only it doesn't give me a headache). I tried getting it stripped down and lean, but it just gave up the ghost. I'm looking for a used laptop to replace it. On a very limited budget. In the mean time I'm trying to get my music computer to do double duty. Stressful, but at least I'm here. I need to start with the painting posts soon.
   The main setback though, has been my recent diagnosis of diabetes. My blood sugar was off the charts. Literally. When I was admitted to the ER their meter wouldn't even read my sugar level. I spent two days in Intensive Care, stressing my poor wife out. When I finally made it back home I was so weak I could barely do anything. I'm building my strength back up, slowly. Slower than I'd like. I didn't realize at the time how badly my body was being beaten. Fortunately I have no kidney damage, and I'm losing weight with an eye toward getting of the insulin shots. I haven't been to work in a month, which certainly hasn't helped things. I'm keeping a good attitude and doing all the things the doctors have been telling me to do. I'm feeling better now than I have in a while. I'm painting more. Not just because I'm supposed to. Because I want to. Now, if only I had that much motivation to post my art.

AKO ANG HARI
     DOUG               

In case you wanna make a donation to the cause: link

If Anyone Is Interested

   So, I'd like to find someone (or a couple of someones) to sell my art for me. I've got literally hundreds of paintings that I need to sell. If you're interested contact me and we can work out the details. It would be on a percentage basis, but I'll do my best to make it worth your while. Here's some examples of what I've got, in case you've never seen my work:

This could be a nice little side hustle. I can paint enough to support four or five people. Just saying.

AKO ANG HARI
     DOUG                        Here's my GoFundMe if you wanna help the cause.

Death's Door (Again)

  I'm trying to get back in the swing of things. If you follow my ramblings you know that I haven't felt well for a while. It's been a struggle to get motivated to get anything done. So, my wife talks me in to going to see the doctor. I actually felt so bad that I agreed right off the bat. Normally you've gotta drag me kicking and screaming. So, turns out the doctor sends me immediately to the ER, where I'm admitted as soon as I get there. My blood sugar was so high their instruments couldn't read it. Diabetes. Yikes! I was in the hospital for two days, hooked up to all sorts of IVs and poked and prodded my the medical professionals. And the shots. Oh, the shots. I felt like I was fifty percent insulin by the time they let me go home. But, I am home. My sugar is getting closer to normal. I'm not supposed to be doing anything strenuous. (I had trouble even walking for a few days.) I spent some time sorting and organizing the studio. I missed four days on my daily art. I had no idea it had been so long. I thought it was one day. I'm out of work, so I have time to sleep, recover, and paint. Because I want to paint, not because I'm supposed to. The first few efforts fizzled out, but that's okay. I'm still moving. I still have my GoFundMe if you want to add a few bucks. I had a speck of an idea yesterday. Faces and lines and geometry. No idea if it will work out, but I'm working a sketchbook pretty hard to see if it solidifies. So, that's my story. I didn't change any names, 'cause no one is innocent. Now, here's some art:

  
AKO ANG HARI
     DOUG

Crawling, But At Least Going Forward

   Okay, I'm here again. I've had some trouble getting motivated as of late. Especially when it comes to getting artwork sold. I've been doing challenges and such and it keeps me creating on a daily basis. My wife bought me an easel for my birthday in December, and I've found a taboret ( a small table for holding art supplies while an artist creates.) so I've been working on a big sized painting. It hasn't been flowing out like I would hope it would, but I'm working on it.
   I've also been to the doctor, who prescribed new medicine for me. It's helping with my digestive issues, but it gives me horrible cotton mouth, which in turn causes me to drink a lot of liquid. Fortunately a lot of the liquid is water, which in turn is helping me to lose weigh. That's a good thing, but all this peeing is starting to get to me. I suppose i should find a happy medium soon. And I should be happy that I've dropped about twenty five pounds so far. Without and dietary changes. I'm also feeling kinda light headed at times, I have a hard time motivating, my vision seems kinda blurry, and I'm tired a lot of the time. Could also be the weather I suppose. I guess I'll fight through.
    My latest project has been a Hand Challenge. I've been drawing a hand every day, in ink. Hands have notoriously given me trouble, so I'm gonna improve. Just like I did with faces. I do feel like I'm making progress. I haven't missed a day yet, which is a good thing. However I have no idea how many days in a row I've done, which is not so good. Here's some hands:

  I still do some small acrylics on a semi-daily basis:

 So, I'm still creating, but I'm having trouble making progress on the business end of things. I do have a GoFundMe right now in hopes of raising money for some of the dozen or so projects I've been wanting to start. I was hoping to do better. Any little bit helps, even if it's only a dollar. Everything is appreciated. I hope for this to get me going all the way through summer. Anyway, that's where I'm at.

AKO ANG HARI
     DOUG

P.S. I've had to reboot my computer twice today. Mo problems